Will Unschooled Kids Ever Choose to Do Anything Unpleasant?

People wonder if unschooled kids would ever choose to do something unpleasant, that they don't particularly want to do, but that needs to be done.  I have a story from a few days ago that might be encouraging to anyone wondering this.

E is 8 (9 in December) and she's had a few pet sitting jobs in the past.  She had one all of last week taking care of a chicken and two cats.  The cats pooped on the couch, and we saw it this morning.  She was grossed out and gagging, but without hesitation asked me to help her find something to clean it up.  She cleaned it up thoroughly.  I don't think it crossed her mind to do otherwise, because she is very happy to have the job and to be known as being responsible enough to get these jobs. 

She also offered to give L some of the money she earned, because her sister was her "assistant."  And when I was talking to the woman at the music academy (not really an academy, just a program for kids to learn to play instruments put on by the local symphony) about a payment plan for the one time registration fee for the violin classes the girls asked for, E offered to use some of her pet sitting money to pay for it.   

This is the result of her never having had any chores (though she often willingly helps out), and of her having a dog who I usually clean up after without complaint.  The result of giving her spending money with no strings attached.  Also the result of being willing to get all the kids (four of them) dressed and out the door twice a day for the last week to drive her to this job, joyfully, often singing as we go.  

Radical Tuesday- Posted UnRules (Solutions!)

I know some families post the "rules of the house" so that everything is known and consistent for the kids.  I have never considered doing this because we don't have 100% set in stone rules in our house.  We have "keep messy food out of the bedrooms because of the potential for ants" and "you can jump on the couch, but don't climb on the back because it's starting to rip" and "PLEASE for the LOVE of ALL that is GOOD- put your towel in the bathroom when you are done with it."  But, those would be awfully long to write out and post on the wall.  And they are flexible!

I have, however, borrowed from this idea of posting rules and I have sometimes posted solutions.  I may have posted (or maybe just thought about it) a while back about the reminder note that I wrote for the girls to bring their apples back into the kitchen.  They wanted to take apples in their bedroom, and we were fighting ants all summer so my first reaction was NO!  Then we talked about it and I told them my concern that the half eaten apples would get left in the bedroom.  They promised not to leave them.  I said we would need to come up with something to help them remember, rather than just relying on their memories.

I ended up writing a note that said "Bring your apples back in the kitchen" and posting it on their bedroom door.
They can't read, of course, but they knew what it said.  They were part of the solution and understood the terrible ant problem (well, this was mostly E, but she helped L) and just seeing the paper on the door helped them remember.

More recently, they have been leaving their towels on the floor in the living room and bedrooms after they dry off after a bath.
 They take *at least* three baths a day just for fun, so I was picking up and reminding them to pick up a lot of towels.  They are both usually pretty happy to put their own towel back when I reminded them, but one day E did NOT want to put it back.  I told her that I was tired of picking up the towels and reminding them to do it, and that it seemed like she was tired of putting her towel away too, so we needed to figure out something that would work better.  She agreed, but didn't have any ideas.  So I said that when I take a shower, I dry off in the bathroom and then put the towel away right away.  So I NEVER have to pick up my towel off the floor!  I suggested putting a note in the bathroom so they would remember to leave their towels in there.  They agreed, I posted a note that says "Leave Towels In The Bathroom" and there has not been a single towel on the floor for well over a week.  To top it off, they are SO EXCITED that they remember to put their towels away and come running out of the bathroom saying "Mom, look!  No towel!"

My husband recently had an idea to make his "honey do" list more appealing.
He is a Type 1 according to It's Just My Nature, which means he is fun loving and random, so this is the kind of thing that makes his life interesting, and makes me and my Type 4ness scratch my head, but hey, whatever works!  The kids have this spinner from some old game that has the numbers 1 through 6.  So he told me to make him a list of the 6 projects I want him to get done this week and number them.   Every day he spins the spinner and does the job associated with the number on which the spinner lands.

The kids thought this was so cool!
So E asked me to make her a list of jobs to do too.  I thought of six things the girls can (and sometimes already did) help with: wash the table and counter, take out the trash, wash the front of the fridge and stove, put away their own laundry, vacuum and make a meal.  E is so excited to spin it every day and do her "job" (sometimes more than one) and L goes along for the ride and helps.        

Cleaning House

After dinner I looked around at my messy house. I could have thought "WHAT A PIG STY! I should have cleaned all morning, so I could spend the afternoon making a nice meal." The thought crossed my mind, but I quickly banished it. I did end up cleaning up the living room, while the girls played with the piano and listened to music. I picked up the balls that E and I had played catch with, and the clothes that she had worn to the garden today. I picked up books L had pulled off the shelf to look at and the stuffed animals they had played with together. I hung up the towel E had used after taking a bath complete with her swimsuit and floaty tube. I threw away a receipt from shopping for (mostly) nutritious food. The mess wasn't so bad when I looked at it as reminders of a fun day.

I never did get the dishes done. I quit cleaning because E wanted me to dance with her. Then we drew some pictures together and painted a balloon. After painting the ballon, E noticed that it wasn't flying up all the way to the ceiling anymore and she thought it was losing helium. I suggested that maybe it was too heavy because of the paint on it. She wanted to test that theory, so I got her a wet paper towel and she washed the paint off. Sure enough, the balloon was able to go all the way to the ceiling once it was clean.

So, do I regret not doing the dishes? Not at all.