Living Torah and Grace

I've been trying to observe Shabbot and make it a "set-apart" day. I really focused on getting everything done by Friday this week, so that I could just relax. On the weeks that I am able to do this, it really does make life less stressful. It becomes a day I can look forward to. Last night Ezabella and I put on some worship music and danced. I also lit 3 candles for YHVH, Yeshua, and the Holy Spirit. I read a Psalm to Ezabella, and then read more on my own. We prayed and I felt at peace.

Today was a little more hectic, as we went to our Garden Co-op meeting. I'm trying to not do those things on Shabbot, but that's the only time that works for everyone else to meet.

In learning about the Hebrew roots and bringing what I learn into my life, I'm trying to balance to two things- legalism and grace. Thanks to YHVH's sending Yeshua, and my relationship with him, I am saved. I know that my works or lack of works do not affect my salvation. However, because of my relationship with Him, I have a desire to do as He commands. Several things have been on my heart lately- Shabbot and Debarim (Deuteronomy) 6:6-7.

"And these Words which I am commanding you today shall be in your heart, and you shall impress them upon your children, and shall speak of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up..."

I love this verse because it says so much with so few words. It's about *living* Torah and grace, and not putting our faith in a box. It's about being present and in the moment with my children- sitting with them, walking with them, lying down and rising up with them. Letting them see my relationship with Yeshua, just as they see the rest of my life. So, while I'm trying to make Shabbot a set-apart day, I also want to be careful not to be a "Saturday Christian," especially in the eyes of my children as they get older.

Yoga and Meditation

I used to do yoga and meditation a lot. That and writing a lot is what kept me sane in high school. It was the only way I could slow down and relax. I've done it off and on for the last few years, and it feels so good when I get back into a routine. Tonight, after the girls fell asleep, I did yoga for about an hour. I started with a dvd I got from the library. It was slow, relaxing yoga to get ready for meditation. After I meditated for a while, I did a harder yoga workout. I feel so loose and limber now, and my mind feel so quiet. It's great!

I know the idea of meditation is scary to some people. They think of opening up your mind to allow anything in. The type of meditation I do isn't like that though. Part of yoga is meditation- I focus on my breath and am aware of each muscle in my body. It's nice to close out the rest of the world for a while and just be aware of how I am moving, which muscles are tense, consciouly relaxing tense spots and moving a little deeper into each pose with each breath.

Then I sit for a while and meditate. Sometimes I focus on just being aware of everything going on around me in that moment. Tonight I listened to my breath, and the sound of the girls breathing as they slept. The muffled sound of D's game coming from the other room. Then wind and traffic outside. I was aware of the changes in light, the smell of the carpet and lingering scent of dinner. I noted the feel of the yoga mat beneath me and that the room was a little cold.

Sometimes I meditate on a thought or Bible verse or prayer. Today felt really hectic and crazed, so with tonight being the start of Shabbot, I wanted to go into it relaxed and centered. I meditated on a prayer for Yeshua to cover me in comfort and peace and that I would spread that to my family.

I'm really going to try to build it back into my daily routine. When I'm doing yoga and meditation every day or at least a few times a week, I find it so much easier to relax "on demand" when I feel myself getting irritated or life getting too hectic. It really helps me be more aware and in the moment with E, too.