Monday, February 23, 2009

Tandem Nursing Again

The saga continues.....

I weaned E at just over 2 years old. I was a few months pregnant, my nipples really hurt, and I didn't want to tandem nurse when the baby was born. It was a really hard day or two full of her screaming and crying "I WANT TO NURSE!" It was so sad! But after a few days she was ok. She would ask now and then, but it wasn't so bad when I said no. After 5 months, I thought she had forgotten all about it, but then she asked to nurse one day out of the blue.

It was a few weeks before L was born, my boobs weren't so sore, and I was ok with the idea of tandem nursing, so I said yes. I was also regretting weaning E, because she was still so little. So she nursed for a few weeks before L was born and a few months after. It really helped with the transition to the new baby. They nursed together and held hands and it was so sweet!

But it was also hard. I was really stressed out about unemployment and moving and finances. I started to get touched out, and E was driving me up the wall with her grabby hands. I limited nursing to nap time and night time, so she'd say that she was tired and wanted a nap, just to nurse. I got resentful and angry. Finally, I felt like nursing was hurting our relationship more than helping it, so I weaned her cold turkey for the second time.

Again, she was sad for a few days, but then ok. She never seemed to resent L nursing, and I always made sure to snuggle her a lot especially while nursing L. She'd ask every now and then if she could nurse, and I'd say no. She would sadly say "ok" or sometimes tell me that someday she was going to be little again and then she would nurse.

Last night she asked me to walk with her before bed. So, I held her and walked around the house and sang to her. Then she asked to nurse and I said yes. It just felt right and seemed like the connection we needed right then. Then we layed down and she looked up at me and said in the sweetest voice, "Thank you, Mama." It just melted my heart!

So, I'm back to tandem nursing. I don't know what it's going to bring. I'm much less stressed out now, so hopefully I'll be less irritable. It never felt right to wean her the way I did. She has an emotional need that needs to be met. She needs to be filled up with all the love and connection that nursing brings. I know that she won't nurse forever, so I'm going to focus on enjoying it and savoring the connection. When she's ready, she'll let it go.

No comments:

Post a Comment