Friday, July 17, 2009

Feeling Inspired

So much local, organic, seasonal, living food. I'm feeling inspired to get serious about going vegan and maybe even go raw. My friend Annalise blogs about her raw foods diet, and she has been talking a lot lately about how much energy she has. It sounds so nice! My friend Ceanne has also been blogging about some yummy sounding raw recipes.

For a long time, I've tried to stick to eating the foods God made vs. foods concocted in a lab by people in white coats. I do better some days than others, but overall, I don't eat a lot of processed foods. When I do, I try to have things like organic chips, homemade cookies, and sprouted bread.

My biggest struggles are dairy and sugar. I used to have gallbladder attacks, but I haven't since I cut back on eating dairy. I no longer drink milk and rarely eat cheese. I eat less butter and yogurt than I used to, though those don't seem to bother me as much anyway. But sometimes I crave dairy, and binge on it. I bring myself almost to the point of a gallbladder attack before I back off again. I do the same thing with sugar. I don't have any for a while, and don't crave it and feel good. Then I have a little bit as a treat with Damien or on impulse, and before I know it, I'm bingeing on it every day again. That has gotten a little better since we stopped restricting foods with E. Now, I don't feel like I have to hide what I'm eating from her, and I'm allowing myself more freedom from guilt trips. That has helped me to not binge so often and to recover quicker when I do.

So, I've been trying to figure out why I binge on things that I know will make me feel bad, even to the point of the excruciating pain of a gallbladder attack. I realized recently, that I'm a food addict. I eat when I'm depressed. Of course, I could choose to binge on fruit when I'm depressed, but I think there is this self destructive part of me that actually wants to make myself suffer. So, I feel bad, then eat bad food, then feel worse, then eat worse food. It's this horrible cycle.

No one would guess this from looking at me. I'm 5'9" and 140 pounds. I have a flat stomach and wear smaller pants than I did in highschool. My butt is a little flabby, but other than that I'm pretty happy with my body. I think a combination of luck, genetics, a fast metabolism, staying active, and burning about 2000 calories a day just by nursing two kids, keeps me from gaining weight.

I know that I have gallstones that I need to get out of my system. I'm sure I'll feel better once I do that. Then I need to eat in a way that doesn't create more. For me, that means staying away from dairy. I seem to be able to eat meat fine (though I want to stick with local, organic, farm raised if I eat any at all). I feel better overall when I eat more raw. A few months ago, D and I did 2 weeks 100% vegan and 80% raw, and I felt great.

With summer here, and all that wonderful, seasonal, organic, local produce sitting in my fridge, right now is the perfect time to start.

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel with the binge on certian foods. I had a coffee the other day, which I love. But caffine does not love me. I was depressed/anxious and I wanted a little caffinne lift :) It kept me up until 12:30, made me groucy and now a headache for two days. Not worth it... next time I'll get decaf ;)

    We eat mostly vegetarian during breakfast and lunch and then a hot cooked meal at dinner time. I think the trick is to ease into it otherwise it seems impossible. To just make it a goal to eat more veggies and non processed food... then expand to more raw veggies. I try and keep the meat and starch in small portions and make it as healthy as possible(all natural, organic if possible, whole grains) and I'm about to add two veggies at dinner instead of just one large salad.