L's 4th Birthday

 

L turned 4 on July 7th!  She's getting so big!

I went into labor with her on my birthday on the 5th, and she was born 2 days later.  My first VBAC baby, my lover of all things creepy crawly, my quiet child.  She generous, kind, easy going, and sweet, with a love for jumping off anything high, digging in the dirt, bugs, critters, and swimming.  Happy Birthday, L!

We went camping for her birthday and the 4th of July weekend.  She got to swim in the hotsprings and the cold pool, which is quite a treat since we don't have a pool near our house.  We also hiked to a waterfall where she swam.  She's not *quite* swimming yet, but getting close to swimming under water, and she likes to jump off the side.  

Snakes and Worms and Snails- Oh My!

L with her bug catcher she got for her 4th birthday. 

L has a thing for bugs, snakes, frogs, and pretty much anything creepy, crawly and slimy.  We got her a bug catcher kit for her 4th birthday.  It has the containers with air holes and magnifying glasses to see the bugs better.  She's used it just about every day. 

A snail L caught.

Today L caught a snail and put it in her bug catcher.

L with a HUGE worm she found in the yard.

She also caught this HUGE worm.

A few weeks ago, she caught a frog. Unfortunately, it died, since she has not yet learned to be very gentle with them.  She just grabs them and holds on tight.  She frequently comes to me with a handful of bugs she wants me to hang on to for her, or spiders she's caught by the legs that she wants to keep.

I wish I had a picture of the big bull snake D caught on the day of the eclipse!  It was 4 feet long- bigger than L.  It escaped the terrarium we were keeping it in, and D was trying to catch it with a stick.  L ran up to it, grabbed it around the middle and held it up.  "Here daddy, I got it!" she said.

I love watching her love of all things crawly, but I get a little concerned.  We've showed her the difference between a bull snake and a rattle snake, and we've shown her pictures of black widows.  Still, she's so young, that I don't think she'd remember or have the impulse control to stop herself if she saw either one.  At least she's having fun though!

My Baby Nursed to Sleep Tonight

L will be 4 next week, but she's still my baby. She's still nursing, though not very much. Most days she only nurses once a day for a few minutes, and some days she doesn't nurse at all. I've been feeling conflicted about weaning her. On one hand, I've been nursing babies for 6.5 years straight, I'm tandem nursing for the second time, and my boobs are flat out tired. She's nursing so infrequently now, that I know she'd be ok with stopping. On the other hand, she's nursing so infrequently that I think it wouldn't really take much of my time or energy to continue. 

I told her that her 4th birthday will be her weaning party as well. She seemed a little excited about that, saying she was a big girl and didn't need nursies anymore. But she still asks to nurse, and I know she feels special when I tell Z to share nursies, because L is still my baby too.

Tonight, L nursed to sleep in my lap on the couch. She was snuggled under the blanket, and she looked so small that E even asked "Is that Z or L?" when all she could see were wisps of blond hair poking out.

Nursing toddlers and preschoolers is a funny thing sometimes. With an infant, it's easy for me to remember that I am her only or at least primary source of nourishment. Even when she bites, or wants to nurse all day, or tries to turn around and look at all the things distracting her with my nipple still in her mouth, there is a strong connection between us that makes it all ok. With a 2 or 3 or 4 year old.... well, sometimes I want to rip my boobs off and throw them across the room. The need, because it's no longer primary physical, is easier to forget.

For the child though, it's such a strong source of comfort. It's the perfect act of unconditional love. It is her safe haven.

When I can slow down and tap into that, when I can allow myself to connect with what she is feeling, it's the most powerful bond in the world. I'm not a very naturally nurturing person. I actually have to work really hard to proactively bond with my kids. But in that moment of nursing her to sleep, feeling her breath on my skin and her heartbeat, seeing her little fingers run through her soft blond hair, it's perfect unity between us. Everything is understood, everything is peaceful, everything is right. It's simultaneously an incredibly nurturing and incredibly powerful feeling. Powerful, because the feeling of protectiveness becomes so strong that heaven help the person who ever dared hurt my baby.

I will miss nursing L. As right as it is, however, for her to have nursed as long as she has, it is also right that she now a take another step into growing bigger. I pray that the bitter sweet memories of weaning her stay with me, to remind me not to ever push her to grow faster than she is ready. She might not nurse for much longer, but she will always be my baby.

Musical Theater

This is the show that E was rehearsing for when I wrote Would You Let Her Quit? This is one of the songs and if it didn't take so blasted long to upload things to youtube, I'd have the others! Maybe another day. This song is called Friendship and is part of the musical Anything Goes. She also did one song in Oliver, two songs in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and another song in Anything Goes. 100 hours of rehearsal, five songs in three shows, three costumes, full makeup and hair, and six two and a half hour long shows! She is the one in the front, near the right of the screen, in the purple swimsuit.

Facebook Obscenities

Facebook is, once again, taking down images of breastfeeding because they are "obscene."  I was able to share this picture on my page, but when I tried to share it on my Joyful Breath: Natural Christian Living page, it wouldn't allow me to.  I'd like to assume positive intent, that this is just a facebook glitch, but that's probably not the case.