Yes, I love to write. No, that doesn't always mean I feel like blogging. Yep, it's only Day 6 (well 7 now, it's past midnight) and I am way behind on blogging every day. I won't do a recap of everything in the last few days, but I'll highlight some Yeses!
Yes at the grocery store....
We have been in the habit of saying yes at the grocery store for a pretty long time now. That doesn't mean that any of us always get everything we want, but that everyone's desires are taken into consideration along with the practicalities of the budget. Usually E gets one type of candy or other sweet thing for the week. This isn't a rule "one thing per shopping trip." It depends on the week's budget and how much what she wants costs. It depends what we already have at home. We try to go shopping once a week, but sometimes it's more or less. Usually if she asks for something I can make cheaper at home it will end up being something like "we can buy X and I can make Y at home or we can just buy Y because it's more expensive." It depends.
I can't even remember the last time she got upset about this arrangement. People hear "no restrictions on food" and imagine her running through the store grabbing up every bit of candy she can get her hands on. Nope, not at all. This week's shopping trip was more confirmation that when you live by principles of abundance rather than rules, the drive to Get, Get, Get just falls away. Abundance is about so much more than physical means.
Of all the things in the grocery store here's what E picked out for herself and her requests for the family. Organic, low sugar, no additives cereal. Organic yogurt. Organic cheese. Cantaloupe. Grapes.
Yes at 4 in the morning....
L woke up at 4 yesterday morning. She didn't know that I was lying there already awake and she sat up, announced "I'm hungry," got out of bed, went to the fridge and got herself an orange. She brought it back to bed and then asked me to peel it for her, but quickly changed her mind and decided she'd "do it the self!"
4 in the morning is not my prime time of day. Especially after getting to bed at midnight. But she was just too cute to resist. We sat up together for a while and I got her a few more oranges and some cucumber. She chatted away about all the things on a 2 year old's mind before dawn and I listened and laughed and tried to keep her from climbing on her sleeping sister and daddy.
She laid back down after about half an hour and finally fell back asleep about half an hour after that. I don't have the foggiest idea why her body needed that much food at 4 in the morning. But I trust that she needed it and I am glad that I was the one who got to spend those special moments with her.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Say Yes More- Day 2
Yesterday was Day 2 of the challenge. Saying yes lead to something pretty fun for the girls! First we made rain sticks with paper towel tubes and rice and aluminum foil on the inside. Then they wanted to play with just the rice.... YES! So, I let them do it in the kitchen where it was easy to sweep up. I gave them both a bowl full of rice and they had a blast. It ended up all over the kitchen floor, but they had at least a half an hour of fun together playing all kinds of pretend play like saying the rice was food for their chickens and dogs and chasing their animals back in the pen. And I got to do the dishes while they played! Well worth a few minutes of sweeping that needed to be done anyway.
We also read some books. E is really into princesses lately, so she enjoyed a fairy tale book we have with stories like Beauty and the Beast and Aladin. I don't think this version is the original stories, but they aren't the same as the Disney versions either.
An hour long appointment took a 4 hour trip, as our car is broken down so we had to ride the bus. The girls think the bus is a pretty fun novelty though and we had lots of good conversations. At the appointment, they got finger pricks to check their iron levels, so E and I talked about iron and blood. Because her blood was a bit thick, we talked about drinking enough water in this heat. She also was pretending to breath a flower all the way up her nose and into her body, and that led to a conversation about oxygen going into our lungs and then into our blood stream. So many things came up yesterday I can't even remember them all! Bus etiquette, lots of pretend play, and all kinds of questions and answers about where we were going and what we were doing.
I showed E how to play Solitaire yesterday and we also played Go Fish. Then D showed her how to play Poker.
Looking forward to seeing what today brings!
We also read some books. E is really into princesses lately, so she enjoyed a fairy tale book we have with stories like Beauty and the Beast and Aladin. I don't think this version is the original stories, but they aren't the same as the Disney versions either.
An hour long appointment took a 4 hour trip, as our car is broken down so we had to ride the bus. The girls think the bus is a pretty fun novelty though and we had lots of good conversations. At the appointment, they got finger pricks to check their iron levels, so E and I talked about iron and blood. Because her blood was a bit thick, we talked about drinking enough water in this heat. She also was pretending to breath a flower all the way up her nose and into her body, and that led to a conversation about oxygen going into our lungs and then into our blood stream. So many things came up yesterday I can't even remember them all! Bus etiquette, lots of pretend play, and all kinds of questions and answers about where we were going and what we were doing.
I showed E how to play Solitaire yesterday and we also played Go Fish. Then D showed her how to play Poker.
Looking forward to seeing what today brings!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Say Yes More
I am doing a 30 day Say Yes More Challenge. Read here and here if you're wondering what I'm talking about.
I notice that when I say yes more to the kids it means we connect more. If I say yes, then I have to get up off my butt and go help them do whatever I just said yes to. While I'm helping them, we get all those wonderful moments of exploration and questions and discussions that always lead to them and often to me, learning something new. It also helps our days go smoother. When they are feeling more connected to me there is less fighting, less whining, less issues in general.
I haven't been blogging much lately, so during this challenge I'm going to try to blog every day about our days.
Today is Day 1:
Saying yes more didn't lead to any really amazing moments today, but it was a good day nonetheless. We spent about 2 hours outside and the girls played soccer and tag and drew with chalk and picked blackberries. They also dug in the dirt for a long time making "crystals to wish on to make our dreams come true" out of mud balls.
I cleaned up their play room and got all the game organized. I also rearranged, because they got a new craft table a few days ago. I didn't like the way their tv was set up before. It was in a corner and required the chair to be sitting in a way that their backs were to the door and all the other toys. It felt closed off to me. So I arranged it so that now they have a cozy little nook with their tv and books and the chair facing so they can see all their toys, see out the window and see the door.
E and D watched a show about sharks on Discovery for a long time, and then I watched it with her while we played tic-tac-toe. I also showed her how to play hangman and did real short words like Cat and Dog.
On thing I noticed today is how many things I say yes to by default that I used to really struggle with. Food and tv used to be things that I really had to make a conscious effort to say yes to and remind myself why I was doing so. Now saying yes is automatic and I can focus my energy on being aware of what they are watching and eating and offering lots of options, fixing yummy food or connecting with them over a tv show. They energy is so much more positive than it used to be, and there is so much more joy and peace in these areas that used to be full of strife.
Now the kids are ready to snuggle up with a movie and go to bed. I need to say yes to watching it with them!
I notice that when I say yes more to the kids it means we connect more. If I say yes, then I have to get up off my butt and go help them do whatever I just said yes to. While I'm helping them, we get all those wonderful moments of exploration and questions and discussions that always lead to them and often to me, learning something new. It also helps our days go smoother. When they are feeling more connected to me there is less fighting, less whining, less issues in general.
I haven't been blogging much lately, so during this challenge I'm going to try to blog every day about our days.
Today is Day 1:
Saying yes more didn't lead to any really amazing moments today, but it was a good day nonetheless. We spent about 2 hours outside and the girls played soccer and tag and drew with chalk and picked blackberries. They also dug in the dirt for a long time making "crystals to wish on to make our dreams come true" out of mud balls.
I cleaned up their play room and got all the game organized. I also rearranged, because they got a new craft table a few days ago. I didn't like the way their tv was set up before. It was in a corner and required the chair to be sitting in a way that their backs were to the door and all the other toys. It felt closed off to me. So I arranged it so that now they have a cozy little nook with their tv and books and the chair facing so they can see all their toys, see out the window and see the door.
E and D watched a show about sharks on Discovery for a long time, and then I watched it with her while we played tic-tac-toe. I also showed her how to play hangman and did real short words like Cat and Dog.
On thing I noticed today is how many things I say yes to by default that I used to really struggle with. Food and tv used to be things that I really had to make a conscious effort to say yes to and remind myself why I was doing so. Now saying yes is automatic and I can focus my energy on being aware of what they are watching and eating and offering lots of options, fixing yummy food or connecting with them over a tv show. They energy is so much more positive than it used to be, and there is so much more joy and peace in these areas that used to be full of strife.
Now the kids are ready to snuggle up with a movie and go to bed. I need to say yes to watching it with them!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Asking Permission
L does something so cute, sweet and surprising. She asks me permission to do things all the time! Odd things, that I would never say no to. Like "can I play with sister?" Well, yes, of course. Or things that I would never think a 2 year old would think to ask permission to do. A few days ago, she reached for something off my plate and then stopped her hand mid air and said "Go ahead?" If she see that I am busy or talking, she will even whisper it in my ear!
It makes me laugh, because her personality is just so different from E's. Then again, their experiences being 2 years old are quite different as well.
I posted a while back (I think I blogged about it, I know I talked to people about it) how L would say "yes!" all the time. I didn't expect it to last forever, in fact it wouldn't be healthy if it did, but having a 18 month old who would say yes to every request and question was quite adorable. I liked to think that it was because I try to say yes often to her. I don't succeed as much as I'd like, but I sure say YES now more often than I did when E was this age.
The last 2 months or so, L suddenly got the toddler NO down, just before her 2nd birthday this month. My experience with it was so different than with E. I now know not to be concerned about defiance and it's not a battle to win. It's a healthy sign of emotional growth and independence. She's figuring out who she is, that she has different preferences than I do, and stating that in one simple word. So, this time around I can just smile and distract her or work out some agreeable solution.
I was not expecting her to start asking for permission and I have to wonder where it comes from. It's not like she sees her sister asking all the time. I mean, E does ask sometimes, but often she just states what she wants to do or just does it. She's far more assertive. And it's not like L is concerned about punishment if she does something of which I don't approve. I'm glad to say that unlike E at this age, L has no concept of punishment. I was actually vaguely concerned about it being a people-pleasing tendency. Her strong NO at times is actually a relief of that concern. Yes, I am really relieved that my child is not perfectly compliant! But the asking permission remains really sweet and quite baffling.
It makes me laugh, because her personality is just so different from E's. Then again, their experiences being 2 years old are quite different as well.
I posted a while back (I think I blogged about it, I know I talked to people about it) how L would say "yes!" all the time. I didn't expect it to last forever, in fact it wouldn't be healthy if it did, but having a 18 month old who would say yes to every request and question was quite adorable. I liked to think that it was because I try to say yes often to her. I don't succeed as much as I'd like, but I sure say YES now more often than I did when E was this age.
The last 2 months or so, L suddenly got the toddler NO down, just before her 2nd birthday this month. My experience with it was so different than with E. I now know not to be concerned about defiance and it's not a battle to win. It's a healthy sign of emotional growth and independence. She's figuring out who she is, that she has different preferences than I do, and stating that in one simple word. So, this time around I can just smile and distract her or work out some agreeable solution.
I was not expecting her to start asking for permission and I have to wonder where it comes from. It's not like she sees her sister asking all the time. I mean, E does ask sometimes, but often she just states what she wants to do or just does it. She's far more assertive. And it's not like L is concerned about punishment if she does something of which I don't approve. I'm glad to say that unlike E at this age, L has no concept of punishment. I was actually vaguely concerned about it being a people-pleasing tendency. Her strong NO at times is actually a relief of that concern. Yes, I am really relieved that my child is not perfectly compliant! But the asking permission remains really sweet and quite baffling.
Writing her Name
E was writing quite a few letters for a while and then the last few months pretty much stopped. She still did lots of "writing" in her notebooks, but it was mostly I, O, and U over and over. I wondered why she had stopped practicing other letters, but didn't say anything. Sometimes we write together and I would write words down for her to see. She likes to make lists- grocery lists or to pretend that we are at a restaurant and will write down our order. So we would take turns writing words, her writing combinations of I, O and U and me writing actual words.
This week she went to Vacation Bible School for the first time. On the first day when I picked her up, she showed me where she had written her name on the back of a picture she drew. I asked the teacher if it was done by herself and she said yes. One letter was backwards and one was missing, but for an 8 letter name, pretty good!
The next day she wrote her name again at home and it was missing several letters. She looked at it for a minute and said, "Wait! That's not right." And sounded out what it *actually* said. Then she asked me to write it for her so she could copy it and I did. She copied it perfectly.
The funny thing about all this is that the last few weeks she has been watching more tv than usual. D has been out of town for work, and I have been juggling the kids, my part of the apartment complex work and his maintenance work. On top of that, my car broke down, so we have been walking everywhere. All this has meant that I have less time to be as engaged with her.
I'm not proud of being less engaged, but at the same time I do see an interesting trend. When she has more periods of tv watching it seems to be that her mind is churning something over and she comes out of it with a new skill. I am becoming less and less concerned about the ebbs and flows of our lives and learning to just ride the waves. We have periods of time where we are constantly looking things up on the internet, doing science experiments, getting lots of books at the library, having wonderful, engaging discussions. Then we have times where there is a lot of watching tv, she plays by herself more yet at the same time is more emotionally needy. Lately she's been saying "I'm feeling shy," which if you know her is kind of funny. She is extremely outgoing! But she means that she is kind of DONE with people right then.
I am looking forward to D coming home so I have more time to be engaged with her. Even though she seems to be in a cacoon phase, I would like for it to be one where I am readily available if needed rather than too busy for her. But I am not stressing about this season. It will pass and come again, because life is full of those ebbs and flows.
This week she went to Vacation Bible School for the first time. On the first day when I picked her up, she showed me where she had written her name on the back of a picture she drew. I asked the teacher if it was done by herself and she said yes. One letter was backwards and one was missing, but for an 8 letter name, pretty good!
The next day she wrote her name again at home and it was missing several letters. She looked at it for a minute and said, "Wait! That's not right." And sounded out what it *actually* said. Then she asked me to write it for her so she could copy it and I did. She copied it perfectly.
The funny thing about all this is that the last few weeks she has been watching more tv than usual. D has been out of town for work, and I have been juggling the kids, my part of the apartment complex work and his maintenance work. On top of that, my car broke down, so we have been walking everywhere. All this has meant that I have less time to be as engaged with her.
I'm not proud of being less engaged, but at the same time I do see an interesting trend. When she has more periods of tv watching it seems to be that her mind is churning something over and she comes out of it with a new skill. I am becoming less and less concerned about the ebbs and flows of our lives and learning to just ride the waves. We have periods of time where we are constantly looking things up on the internet, doing science experiments, getting lots of books at the library, having wonderful, engaging discussions. Then we have times where there is a lot of watching tv, she plays by herself more yet at the same time is more emotionally needy. Lately she's been saying "I'm feeling shy," which if you know her is kind of funny. She is extremely outgoing! But she means that she is kind of DONE with people right then.
I am looking forward to D coming home so I have more time to be engaged with her. Even though she seems to be in a cacoon phase, I would like for it to be one where I am readily available if needed rather than too busy for her. But I am not stressing about this season. It will pass and come again, because life is full of those ebbs and flows.
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