Thursday, July 22, 2010

Asking Permission

L does something so cute, sweet and surprising. She asks me permission to do things all the time! Odd things, that I would never say no to. Like "can I play with sister?" Well, yes, of course. Or things that I would never think a 2 year old would think to ask permission to do. A few days ago, she reached for something off my plate and then stopped her hand mid air and said "Go ahead?" If she see that I am busy or talking, she will even whisper it in my ear!

It makes me laugh, because her personality is just so different from E's. Then again, their experiences being 2 years old are quite different as well.

I posted a while back (I think I blogged about it, I know I talked to people about it) how L would say "yes!" all the time. I didn't expect it to last forever, in fact it wouldn't be healthy if it did, but having a 18 month old who would say yes to every request and question was quite adorable. I liked to think that it was because I try to say yes often to her. I don't succeed as much as I'd like, but I sure say YES now more often than I did when E was this age.

The last 2 months or so, L suddenly got the toddler NO down, just before her 2nd birthday this month. My experience with it was so different than with E. I now know not to be concerned about defiance and it's not a battle to win. It's a healthy sign of emotional growth and independence. She's figuring out who she is, that she has different preferences than I do, and stating that in one simple word. So, this time around I can just smile and distract her or work out some agreeable solution.

I was not expecting her to start asking for permission and I have to wonder where it comes from. It's not like she sees her sister asking all the time. I mean, E does ask sometimes, but often she just states what she wants to do or just does it. She's far more assertive. And it's not like L is concerned about punishment if she does something of which I don't approve. I'm glad to say that unlike E at this age, L has no concept of punishment. I was actually vaguely concerned about it being a people-pleasing tendency. Her strong NO at times is actually a relief of that concern. Yes, I am really relieved that my child is not perfectly compliant! But the asking permission remains really sweet and quite baffling.

No comments:

Post a Comment