My Baby Nursed to Sleep Tonight

L will be 4 next week, but she's still my baby. She's still nursing, though not very much. Most days she only nurses once a day for a few minutes, and some days she doesn't nurse at all. I've been feeling conflicted about weaning her. On one hand, I've been nursing babies for 6.5 years straight, I'm tandem nursing for the second time, and my boobs are flat out tired. She's nursing so infrequently now, that I know she'd be ok with stopping. On the other hand, she's nursing so infrequently that I think it wouldn't really take much of my time or energy to continue. 

I told her that her 4th birthday will be her weaning party as well. She seemed a little excited about that, saying she was a big girl and didn't need nursies anymore. But she still asks to nurse, and I know she feels special when I tell Z to share nursies, because L is still my baby too.

Tonight, L nursed to sleep in my lap on the couch. She was snuggled under the blanket, and she looked so small that E even asked "Is that Z or L?" when all she could see were wisps of blond hair poking out.

Nursing toddlers and preschoolers is a funny thing sometimes. With an infant, it's easy for me to remember that I am her only or at least primary source of nourishment. Even when she bites, or wants to nurse all day, or tries to turn around and look at all the things distracting her with my nipple still in her mouth, there is a strong connection between us that makes it all ok. With a 2 or 3 or 4 year old.... well, sometimes I want to rip my boobs off and throw them across the room. The need, because it's no longer primary physical, is easier to forget.

For the child though, it's such a strong source of comfort. It's the perfect act of unconditional love. It is her safe haven.

When I can slow down and tap into that, when I can allow myself to connect with what she is feeling, it's the most powerful bond in the world. I'm not a very naturally nurturing person. I actually have to work really hard to proactively bond with my kids. But in that moment of nursing her to sleep, feeling her breath on my skin and her heartbeat, seeing her little fingers run through her soft blond hair, it's perfect unity between us. Everything is understood, everything is peaceful, everything is right. It's simultaneously an incredibly nurturing and incredibly powerful feeling. Powerful, because the feeling of protectiveness becomes so strong that heaven help the person who ever dared hurt my baby.

I will miss nursing L. As right as it is, however, for her to have nursed as long as she has, it is also right that she now a take another step into growing bigger. I pray that the bitter sweet memories of weaning her stay with me, to remind me not to ever push her to grow faster than she is ready. She might not nurse for much longer, but she will always be my baby.

Musical Theater

This is the show that E was rehearsing for when I wrote Would You Let Her Quit? This is one of the songs and if it didn't take so blasted long to upload things to youtube, I'd have the others! Maybe another day. This song is called Friendship and is part of the musical Anything Goes. She also did one song in Oliver, two songs in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and another song in Anything Goes. 100 hours of rehearsal, five songs in three shows, three costumes, full makeup and hair, and six two and a half hour long shows! She is the one in the front, near the right of the screen, in the purple swimsuit.

Facebook Obscenities

Facebook is, once again, taking down images of breastfeeding because they are "obscene."  I was able to share this picture on my page, but when I tried to share it on my Joyful Breath: Natural Christian Living page, it wouldn't allow me to.  I'd like to assume positive intent, that this is just a facebook glitch, but that's probably not the case.

Rosh Chodesh: Head of the Month

I decided to start being more intentional about observing Rosh Chodesh (first day or "head" of the month), since it often flies by without me even noticing.  I made a calendar page for the kids that has the Gregorian calendar and the Biblical calendar overlapping for this month.  We also made a moon out of construction paper and colored a tiny sliver that indicates what we can see of the new moon.  I'm late on it for this month, which is Shevat.  It started on the evening of January 25th. 

While I was searching for things for us to do to celebrate, I found a few interesting things and I wanted to share them. 

I don't know anything about this website, and I don't agree with his use of "Gentile believers," but this page seems to sum it up nicely.  It gives all the Bible verses that speak of Rosh Chodesh.     

For us ladies, I thought this page about women and Rosh Chodesh was interesting, given our biology and inherent connection with the moon. 

I also found this worship dance to a song called Rosh Chodesh.  It's a really easy one, great for beginners and kids!

The Wikipedia page for each month has a list of things that happened, from the Bible and other historical sources, on each day of the month.  This month is Shevat

Most of the dates it gives to observe mark the death of various Rabbi's, but a few Biblical things stuck out to me: 

Moses began the review of the Torah on the first day of Shevat.
On Shevat 23 was the war on the tribe of Benjamin in Judges 19-21
On Shevat 24 Zachariah gave his prophecy. 

To Train Up A Child

You may have noticed the "Why Not Train A Child" button on the side of my blog.  If not, let me draw your attention to it now and to the issue it represents.  The book To Train Up A Child, written by Micheal Pearl is, simply put, a child abuse manual.  In the book, he tells parents to use a plumbing supply line to beat their children into submission, starting as young as 6 months old, and claims that this is Biblical advise.  Several children have died as a result of their parents following the methods in this book.  I could go on, but thanks to the work of Linda at Why Not Train A Child, I can just send you there where many bloggers have covered the book in depth.

Please take the time to read the information on her site, if you are not already familiar with this book.  Then if you are outraged, there is something you can do!  Here is the facebook page of the petition to Amazon asking them to stop selling this book.  Here is the petition itself.  And the blog of the woman who started the petition.  The purpose of the petition is to pressure Amazon to stop selling the book (and other similar books), so that it will not be so readily available to parents who are desperately seeking godly answers and might fall into this very ungodly trap.  Hopefully, it will also encourage them to look into WHY they can't find the book easily, and perhaps they will stumble across better information in the process. 

You may find that there are some people who do not support the book, but also don't support the petition.  They believe that this is censorship and that free speech should apply to anything, even the promotion of child abuse.  And they are right!  The government has NO place censoring this book.  This petition, however, is asking a PRIVATE business to stop selling it, because it violates the business's own policy of what they will carry.  This is Amazon customers informing Amazon of their demands.  It's no different than a customer speaking with the owner of a local bookstore about their choice to carry a book that is dangerous and reprehensible.

Please sign the petition!  And please spread the word via your blog or facebook page!